Calories That Don't Count

Since it is Friday, I want to post something funny to enlighten the mood. At least I am tired from the long week behind and I want to be silly and eat something yummy tonight, and that is why I got these rules for calories that don't count. Pay attention to rule #9 because Christmas is right around the corner (*laugh*), and I personally used the rule # 10 the other other night when I was test tasting the ice cream from Ingman.


And talk about yummy and ice cream! Ingman has some dang good frozen treats! I will post a big ice cream review tomorrow, so stay posted!
Here are the rules...
Calories that Don't Count
1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Dazs ice cream.
5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel. This includes (but is not limited to) Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.
6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.
7. If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
8. If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.
9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has 0 calories, courtesy of Santa.
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, popsicles, etc.
11. Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
12. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
Yummy weekend to everybody!